Sirius' Master Plan
by sparrowflyaway
Summary: Sirius Black is determined to get his best friend James Potter together with Lily Evans, and is willing to go to extraordinary lengths to make it happen. Will any of his plans work? Will Lily and James repay him for all his antics? Many laughs in store!


I wanted to write a Maruauder's fic, and this is what it ended up as. Hope you like!

Disclaimer:

I tried using _Accio _to get the rights to Harry Potter, but it didn't work. J.K must've put a spell on them so that _Accio_ doesn't work. Darn!

* * *

><p>"C'mon, Evans, why won't you go out with me?"<p>

"Leave me alone, Potter."

"Give me one good reason why you won't go out with me!"

"Fine. You're an egotistical, pompous, selfish prat who picks on the first-years and hexes every Slytherin student you come across, and throw all care about the consequences to the wind!"

"Hey! I take offence at that! I do not hex every Slytherin student I come across. I let ol' Crabbe go the other day."

"Only because about three dozen Slytherins ganged up on you and promised to hang you from the Astronomy Tower by your underpants if you didn't."

"You don't really expect me to ruin my reputation just because of a longing to hex Crabbe, do you? I mean, the guy's an idiot. How he even made it into N.E.W.T level potions is beyond me."

"Oh, yes, because you're the fabulous James Potter, and therefore everyone else in the entire world is inferior to you. Is that right?"

"Of course it is, Evans, he's awesome. Ain't you, Prongsie," a tall, handsome-looking sixth-year said, throwing his arms around Lily and James' shoulders.

"Padfoot, seriously, stop it."

"Hey, I'm just sticking up for my buddy. Besides, you two bicker like an old married couple. You may as well make it official!" Sirius said, earning a punch in each arm from the two sixth-years. "OW!"

"Sirius, enough, or I'll give you a detention."

"Aw, c'mon, Moony, you wouldn't give your bestest buddy a detention just for trying to get these two lovers together, would you? OW!" Sirius winced as Lily and James punched him again. Remus shook his head in exasperation at the scene before him.

"It's tempting, Padfoot. You have no idea how tempting."

"Aww, don't be such a wolf, Moony," Sirius pouted, this time receiving a punch from Remus.

"Not funny, dude," James said.

"Fine then, if you two won't admit it, then I'll just have to come up with something myself," Sirius said, walking away with a cheeky grin on his face.

"Sometimes he worries me, James," Lily said absently, not noticing James' wide-eyed expression. After a few seconds, James composed himself enough to say,

"Evans, if he didn't worry you at all, _I'd_ be worried about _you_."

* * *

><p>Sirius watched Lily and James very closely over the course of that day, always making sure he was very close by. And, as luck would have it, during Transfiguration class, Professor McGonagall paired Lily and James together, much to Lily's apparent annoyance. Sirius insisted to Remus, who he had been partnered with, that they sit directly behind Lily and James. Remus reluctantly agreed, knowing full well that Sirius was up to something. And, as class ended, Sirius pounced on the two and slapped a pair of fluffy pink handcuffs on their wrists before either could react.<p>

"Padfoot!"

"Black!" the two shouted simultaneously, as Sirius ran away, chuckling. Lily looked at James for a moment, before taking out her wand and using Alohomora on the handcuffs. Within an few seconds, the cuffs were tucked in James' pocket, the boy thinking of several different ways to use them against his friend.

* * *

><p>"I'm surprised you haven't tried anything for the past few days, Sirius," Remus said, sitting down in an armchair near Sirius', the Gryffindor Common Room lit with early afternoon sunlight.<p>

"I've been busy planning my next scheme," Sirius said, not looking up from the huge spell book on his lap.

"I don't want to know," Remus groaned.

"Good, because I'm not going to tell you, Moony. Ah-hah! Perfect!" Sirius exclaimed, his eyes shining with glee as he read a page of the book.

"I hope you haven't forgotten that tomorrow's Christmas, Padfoot," Remus said.

"Of course not! That's precisely why I've chosen my next plan!"

"Oh, geez."

* * *

><p>"Merry Christmas, Prongs!" Sirius said, leaping onto James' bed in the early hours of the morning.<p>

"Go away, Padfoot, I was having a good dream."

"Oh, yeah? Of what, you and Evans snogging?" Sirius asked, taking James surly silence as a yes. "C'mon, Prongs, let's see if we can make that dream of yours come true! Get your lazy ass outta bed and meet me in the Great Hall for breakfast in half an hour," Sirius said, leaping off the bed and running out of the room, slamming the door behind him. When in the Common Room, Sirius grabbed a sheet of parchment, a bottle of ink and a pen, and wrote,

"Dear Evans,

Please meet me in the Great Hall in half an hour. I know I've been a jerk these past few days, and I'd like to apologise in person.

Sirius."

After reading the message a few times, Sirius nodded in satisfaction and folded the parchment into a paper plane, which he tapped with his wand before throwing it up the staircase leading to the girls' dorms. Smiling, Sirius pushed open the portrait of the Fat Lady and ran downstairs, eager to fix the other part of his plan.

* * *

><p>"Padfoot, did you really have to drag me out of bed this early on Christmas?" James asked, frowning at his friend.<p>

"Of course I did, Prongs. It's Christmas! Where's your Christmas Spirit, buddy?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, great. What are you doing here as well, Potter?" Lily asked, appearing behind James.

"I'm here to have breakfast, Evans," James said.

"Well, at least keep your opinions to yourself until I've finished with what I came here for. Alright, Black, let's hear it," Lily said, stepping around James to find Sirius had disappeared. "Hey, where'd he go?" Lily asked, looking around the Great Hall. Eventually she spotted Sirius over on the Gryffindor table, grinning at her. "You little liar, Sirius Black, I'll- Hey, I can't move!" Lily exclaimed, trying to take a step further into the Great Hall and finding herself unable to proceed. She turned back to James, took a few steps and then suddenly found herself trapped again.

"Oh, I see what the problem is. I wondered if Professor Dumbledore was going to bring that out this year," James said, pointing upwards. Lily peered upwards at the glistening green sprig suspended in the middle of the doorway. "Magical Mistletoe. It's enchanted so that the two people trapped under it have to kiss before the spell will release them," James said.

"Oh, _great_. I've only been up for half an hour and already my Christmas is ruined," Lily moaned.

"It's not that bad, Evans," James said mildly.

"Hey, yeah, you're right!" Lily said, surprising James.

"I am?"

"Yeah, the kiss doesn't have to be a passionate one, it can just be a peck on the cheek. I remember Professor Dumbledore explaining it to me once," Lily said. James looked a little disappointed at that, but tried not to show it as Lily stood on her tiptoes and gave him the smallest and fastest of pecks, before turning away. A second later, Lily cried out in frustration as once again her feet refused to move beyond the invisible circle beneath the mistletoe. She and James stared at each other, before it clicked.

"PADFOOT!"

"BLACK!"

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" the two of them chorused, glaring at Sirius, who rose from his seat and wandered over to them, chortling.

"Just enhanced the magic a little," Sirius said innocently.

"How much is "a little"? What sort of kiss do we have to share before this stupid mistletoe lets us go?" Lily demanded.

"Have a guess," Sirius said, grinning wickedly. Lily stared at him for a moment, horror-struck, before she very nearly exploded.

"SIRIUS BLACK, YOU FIX THIS STUPID MISTLETOE _RIGHT NOW_, OR _SO HELP ME_ I WILL MAKE IT MY LIFE'S MISSION TO LEARN EVERY SINGLE CURSE, JINX AND HEX THAT IS LEGAL AND USE_ EVERY SINGLE ONE_ OF THEM ON YOU IN ONE NIGHT._ UNDERSTAND?_" Lily roared, her green eyes blazing.

"Sorry, Evans, I can't change the spell once it's activated. You'll just have to get out of it the old-fashioned way," Sirius grinned, before wandering back over to the Gryffindor table, laughing madly. Lily sent a death glare in the boy's direction, before turning to James with a sigh.

"Well, let's get this over with, Potter. I want to spend Christmas with my friends, not trapped in a tiny invisible circle with you," Lily said. Before James knew what was happening, Lily had wrapped her arms around his neck and was standing on tiptoe, her face getting closer to his. Although he had longed for this moment in he-had-no-idea-how-long, the mood was considerably different to what he had pictured. Instead of the relaxed, pretty girl he loved so much, this Lily Evans was so enraged and tense that James was somewhat surprised he wasn't getting burns around his neck where her arms were. Even so, they both closed their eyes and shared a beautiful kiss, James revelling in Lily's luscious scent and warmth. After a few seconds, the mistletoe above them gave off a burst of silver sparkles, and the two of them broke apart, a little breathless. James blinked in confusion at the feeling he had gotten from the kiss: the feeling that Lily was enjoying it every bit as much as he was. He felt even more confused when Lily turned away and marched into the Great Hall, still looking just as pissed off as before. James couldn't help but smile as Lily tapped Sirius on the shoulder, thrusting her other hand into the pocket of her robes and pulling out her wand.

"You're in for it now, Black," Lily hissed, pointing her wand directly between Sirius' eyes. Before either Lily or James could blink, Sirius had shot out of his seat and made a break for the door, crashing into one of Lily's best friends and his worst enemies, Marlene MacKinnon.

"Black! Watch where you're going! Hey Lily, you looked pissed off," Marlene said. Lily stared at the two students in front of her for a moment, before bursting out laughing.

"What's so funny? Do I have something on my face?" Sirius asked, patting his face carefully. James took one look at the scene before him and started laughing too. "What? What's so funny, you two? And why aren't you trying to hex me anymore? Not that I'm upset about that or anything..." Sirius said.

"Oh, I don't think I need to hex you anymore, Black. Hey, Marlene, remind me later that I owe you one," Lily said, before sidling carefully past the two, with James following suit a few seconds later.

"Hope your attention's not so distracted that you forget about the Quidditch game we've got in a few days, Padfoot!" James called over his shoulder, both he and Lily laughing again at that. Sirius stared after the laughing pair, confused, before a horrible thought occurred, and he looked straight up to find himself caught in his own trap.

"Oh, dammit! This cannot be happening to me!" Sirius wailed, his voice carrying down the corridor and making Lily and James laugh all the harder. Their laughter died down as they climbed the staircases together, James smiling thoughtfully.

"Say, Evans, could you help me with something?"

"Never in a million years."

"What if it involved paying Padfoot back for cuffing us together the other day?" James asked. Lily turned, a sly smile on her face.

"Oh, well, that's different. Sure I'll help you with that," Lily said. James reaching into his pocket and pulled out Sirius' pair of fluffy pink handcuffs, which he passed to Lily, whispering what he thought should happen. Lily nodded in agreement and took out her wand, tapping the cuffs and muttering spells.

* * *

><p>The morning of the Quidditch match, Sirius awoke to find his numb right arm hoisted above his head, his own fluffy cuffs restraining him to the bedpost.<p>

"PRONGS!" Sirius roared, pulling back the curtains with his free hand to find James sitting on his bed in his Quidditch robes, his broom on the bed beside him and a grin on his face.

"Nice try the other day, Padfoot, but those cuffs were useless against Alohomora," James said, grinning. Sirius just grabbed his wand off his bedside table and tapped the handcuffs, repeating the spell that James had just mentioned.

"I say _were_. Evans helped me change that," James said.

"C'mon, Prongs, you know I need to get out of here, we've got a Quidditch game! Also, my plan sort of worked! I got you two working together!"

"Only because she liked the idea of _getting back at you_, Padfoot. And besides, the game isn't for another eight hours," James said. Sirius looked out the window to find a clear, early-morning-blue sky.

"Aww man! Why'd I have to wake up_ this _early?" Sirius moaned. James laughed and picked up his broom.

"Good luck getting out of those cuffs, Padfoot! Evans did a number on them! Oh, and thanks for not trying any more dumb schemes since Christmas, although after your last one backfired on you, I can't blame you."

"Prongs, if you don't let me out of here, I'll kill you! You won't be able to beat Slytherin without me! I'll get Moony to give you a detention!" Sirius yelled, hoping that one of his threats would provoke James into freeing him.

"If you haven't managed to get yourself out of there by game time, I'll send Evans up to let you out," James said, shouldering his broom and walking towards the door.

"C'mon, Prongsie, don't do that! I can't let her see me like this!" Sirius yelled, looking at his leopard-print pyjamas. James glanced over his shoulder, snorted at the mental image of Lily seeing Sirius as he was now, and left, chortling. "Prongs! So help me, I'll get you for this!"

* * *

><p>That night, the common room was filled with joyful cheering and laugher, Gryffindor having creamed Slytherin that afternoon. Several people, including Lily and her friends, were also laughing about Sirius' pyjamas and the situation the boy had found himself in that morning. Remus considered giving James a detention for handcuffing Sirius to his own bed, but decided against it after what Sirius had done with those same handcuffs. Sirius himself was enjoying the party despite the discussions about his pyjamas, and just beforehand had slipped away, reappearing half an hour later with his arms full of Butterbeer and an assortment of Honeydukes sweets, which made the party much wilder. No-one noticed, but Sirius kept pointing his wand at Lily and muttering under his breath, causing her to have a raging, unsatiable thirst. By eleven, the party was starting to wind down, and Lily was reclining on James' shoulder, her fourteenth bottle of butterbeer in her hand and a bright-eyed grin on her face.<p>

"Jamesie? Have... Have I ever told you that you're sweet?" Lily slurred.

"I think you've had enough Butterbeer, Evans," James said, attempting to take the bottle from Lily, who hugged it to her chest possessively.

"No! You just wanna be a spoilsport like always," Lily pouted, before turning away and downing the contents of the bottle.

"I didn't think Butterbeer was usually this strong," James said to Remus, who was sitting on a nearby armchair, watching Lily thoughtfully.

"It's not," Remus said slowly. A few seconds later, both boys' heads snapped around at a nearby group who were racing Chocolate Frogs.

"Padfoot!" they both yelled, causing Lily to jump violently.

"Yeah?"

"Did you spike the Butterbeer you brought?" Remus asked, his eyes narrowed.

"No, of course not! Only Evans' Butterbeer got spiked, nobody else's," Sirius said innocently.

"Jamesie?" Lily asked. James almost got whiplash from turning his head back to Lily so quickly.

"Yes?"

"You're sweet, Jamesie. I..." Lily trailed off, her head slumping onto his shoulder.

"Is she alright?" a small mousy boy asked, peering at Lily.

"I think she just passed out, Wormtail," Remus said, looking carefully at the girl.

"Good thing we don't have class tomorrow, she's gonna have a killer hangover," Sirius said. Both boys glared at him, James pulling out his wand and conjuring a stretcher.

"Wouldn't it make more sense to carry her?" Sirius asked, a devious grin on his face.

"Despite how much you'd enjoy telling her about that, Padfoot, I'm going to do things this way. She probably won't remember much, so I'd prefer to keep things nice and clean, thank you. I'd rather not ruin my chances of getting a date any more than you have," James said.

"You wound me, Prongs," Sirius said, holding his hand over his heart dramatically. James ignored his friend and lifted Lily onto the stretcher, which he then frowned at, wondering how he would get it into the girls' dormitories.

"Allow me, James," another redheaded sixth-year said, taking out her wand.

"Thanks, Prewett," James said, sitting down and watching as the girl followed the stretcher up the staircase to the girls' dorms.

"Well that sort of worked, she almost told you she liked you," Sirius said.

"How do you know that wasn't the alcohol talking?" James asked gloomily.

"Never mind, Prongsie, we'll try again another day," Sirius said, clapping James on the back before retreating to the boys' dorms.

"I hate to say it, but I think this is only the beginning, Prongs," Remus said.

"I think you might be right there, Moony," James replied.

* * *

><p>"Sirius, what are you doing? That'd better be your Tranfiguration essay," Remus said, folding his arms and looking at Sirius, who was sitting on an armchair in a corner of the Gryffindor common room, scribbling frantically on a piece of parchment. Every so often he'd hold the parchment at arm's length, frown, shake his head and scribble something out.<p>

"No way, dude, you've gotta be kidding me! This is my Master Plan."

"Give it a rest, Sirius, you've been trying different things for the past week, and you've been lucky not to get a detention!"

"Yeah, but I sure haven't gotten off scot-free, either, remember? I got cuffed to my own bed, had to kiss MacKinnon, and lost half my fabulous hair," Sirius said, pointing to a patch of hair that was much shorter than the rest of his shoulder-length locks. "But that's why I've been planning extra-carefully. This time my plan's gonna be brilliant!" Sirius exclaimed. Remus sighed and walked over to the armchair, where he squinted at the blackened piece of parchment, trying to decipher Sirius' scrawl.

"You don't really think love potions or the Imperius Curse would work, do you? For one, neither of them could create actual love. And for another, love potions are banned at Hogwarts, and the Imperius Curse is illegal!"

"C'mon, Moony, you're shooting down my creativity!"

"What else have you got on here?" Remus asked, wrenching the parchment from Sirius' hands and holding it up to the light.

"Blind dates, they'd leave as soon as they got there, and possibly hex you. Spin the Bottle, they would never agree to play in the same game, and if we all play we could end up kissing each other. Truth or Dare wouldn't work, they'd never join the game anyway, and even if they did, they could easily lie."

"Not if I nick some of Snivellus' stash of Veritaserum," Sirius said.

"Oh yes, and when you do that, they could end up spilling a dozen different secrets, such as mine! Wake up, Padfoot. Besides, I am a prefect, and as such you can consider this list confiscated. Just think yourself lucky that I'm not doing anything worse," Remus said, scrunching the list up and throwing it into the fire.

"Someone's a spoilsport today. Must be that time of the month," Sirius muttered.

"You really come up with some hopeless ideas, Padfoot. Sometimes I wonder if Malfoy's right, and you do require a new brain."

"Hey! That's not fair, Moony, I..." Sirius trailed off, wide-eyed. "That's it!"

"What's it?" Remus asked, suspicious.

"I just got the most brilliant idea! Thank you very much, Moony! I was going to hex you for nicking my list, but to show you just how grateful I am, I'll save that hex for Snivelly," Sirius said, jumping out of his seat and racing out of the common room, leaving a rather perplexed Remus behind.

* * *

><p>"Oi, Peter, I need you to help me out with getting Prongsie and Evans together," Sirius said, sitting down beside the mousy-looking boy who was eating his dinner in the Great Hall.<p>

"What am I supposed to do, Sirius?"

"I need you to distract Evans for me. Get her into the Room of Requirement and keep her there," Sirius said quietly, glancing up and down the table at the two students they were discussing, who were seated at either end of the table, surrounded by friends and admirers.

"How am I supposed to do that? She hates me," Peter said.

"Ask her for help on your Potions homework or something, I don't know. But make sure you ask the Room for somewhere comfortable to study, OK?"

"I guess so, Sirius, but..." Peter trailed off as Sirius leapt up and left the Hall, an excited grin on his face.

* * *

><p>"Pettigrew, please leave me alone," Lily said, striding down the corridor.<p>

"I need your help, Evans, please," Peter pleaded, running after the redhead. Lily stopped and looked at Peter sceptically.

"Why are you asking me for help, Pettigrew? Why aren't you asking Potter or one of your other annoying friends?"

"Because you're the smartest person I know?" Peter said, sounding more like it was a question. Lily sighed.

"What do you need my help with?" she asked, sounding very reluctant to be asking. Peter's face lit up at her question.

"I, um... oh, yeah! I need help with my Potions homework," Peter said.

"Your essay on Amortentia?" Lily asked. Peter nodded meekly, and Lily sighed again.

"I'll go get you some books that might help you," she said.

"Oh, that'd be great, but, um, I'm still not sure what the books mean. It's a really confusing potion," Peter said. Lily sighed a third time, and frowned at Peter.

"Oh, _alright_, I'll help you with your essay," she said finally. Peter beamed at that.

"Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou. I know a really good place to study," Peter said, seizing Lily's wrist and dragging her down the corridor.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Prongsie! I've been looking for you for half an hour, dude! Still annoyed at me 'cause of what I've been up to lately?" Sirius asked as he finally found James in the Library. Sirius sat down on the arm of James' chair and leaned back with his hand behind his head.<p>

"Yeah, I am a little. I've been wondering for a while now if Evans won't go out with me because of my choice of friends," James said, peering over the top of his book at Sirius.

"That cuts deep, man," Sirius said, pretending to look hurt.

"And anyway, if you really wanted to find me that badly, why didn't you just use the Map?" James asked, straightening his glasses.

"Didn't think of it, and besides, you locked it in your trunk last week. You wanna come to the Room and practice changing into Animagi again?"

"I suppose so, even though we don't have any trouble with it anymore. Well, except Peter..." James said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, yeah, he's gonna meet us there," Sirius said, jumping to his feet and heading towards the door. A second later, he turned around, realising James hadn't followed. "C'mon, you slowpoke! Do I have to Summon your broom so you'll go faster?"

"This isn't part of some hare-brained scheme, is it, Padfoot? You're not going to lure Evans and me into the Room and then lock us in, are you?" James asked, looking sceptically at his friend.

"Awww, c'mon, Prongsie, you've gotta be kidding me! Do you really think I'd give away the secret about the Room just to get you and Evans together? Even _that's_ not worth blowing such a fabulous secret on!" Sirius said impatiently. James sighed, seeing that there was no way he was going to convince his friend that they should do anything else. Reluctantly, and still feeling a little suspicious, James closed his book and followed his friend out of the library.

* * *

><p>"Where exactly are we going, Pettigrew?" Lily asked as she stumbled along behind Peter.<p>

"Seventh floor," Peter said, veering to the right and climbing a flight of stairs. After several minutes, they reached the seventh floor, and Peter practically ran down the corridor to a large tapestry, where he skidded to a stop, Lily crashing into him and sprawling to the floor.

"Pettigrew!" Lily yelled.

"Oh, sorry, Evans," Peter said, reaching out a hand to help Lily up. After staring at Peter's hand for a moment as though it were one of the Giant Squid's tentacles, Lily pushed it away and clambered to her feet.

"Where exactly are we going to study?" Lily asked.

"Watch," Peter said, before pacing back and forth in the corridor, frowning.

"Pettigrew, what...?" Lily trailed off as the wall opposite the tapestry shimmered, a simple wooden door appearing on the smooth white surface. "How long has this been here?" Lily asked, pushing the door open to find a large room filled with books, cushions and comfortable armchairs. Peter shrugged and followed Lily inside, where he settled into one of the armchairs, watching Lily closely. "OK, so... Amortentia. Let's see..." Lily mused, looking at one of the bookshelves. After browsing a few different titles, Lily pulled down a copy of_ Potion Emotion_ and opened it. "OK, so what have you got so far?" Lily asked, being greeted by an uncomfortable silence. "You didn't bring your books, did you," Lily said, frowning. Peter stared at her for a few moments, before jumping to his feet.

"Oh, right! I'll just... go get them. You stay here, I'll be right back," Peter said, before heading towards the door. He opened the door and almost ran into Sirius, who grinned at him.

"Hey, Wormtail, how's it going?" Sirius asked, pulling Peter away from the door and closing it behind him.

"I did what you asked, Sirius," Peter said quietly, noticing James trailing behind.

"Hey, Wormtail, where are you going? Aren't you gonna practice Animagi with us?" James asked. Peter blinked in confusion for a moment, before Sirius jumped in.

"Wormtail probably forgot to pack his spare robes," Sirius said, faking a scowl.

"Yeah, sorry. I'll just go get them," Peter said, shuffling away.

"He'll be back eventually. After you," Sirius said, opening the door on the Room of Requirement. James looked at him sceptically, but walked in, Sirius slamming the door after him. Chuckling, Sirius pulled out his wand and ran it along the doorframe, muttering under his breath. After a few moments, the door flashed gold and disappeared. Sirius patted the wall in satisfaction and then walked away, laughing heartily. When he rounded the corner, he found Peter waiting for him. "Hey! Wormtail! Great job, buddy! I couldn't have done it without ya, dude!" Sirius exclaimed happily, throwing an arm around Peter's shoulders.

"What have you done _now_, Padfoot?" a familiar voice asked. Sirius and Peter turned to find Remus standing behind them, his arms folded.

"I don't know _what_ you're talking about, Moony," Sirius said, the grin never leaving his face.

"We locked Evans and Prongs in the Room!" Peter squeaked excitedly.

"Geez, Wormtail, just blurt it out to the whole of Hogwarts, why don't you. You're lucky it's just Moony," Sirius said.

"Sirius," Remus said warningly.

"What?" asked Sirius indignantly.

"You do realise that locking them both in any room won't work, don't you? It's just as ridiculous an idea as all your others," Remus said.

"Exactly! It's so ridonkulous it's bound to work!" Sirius grinned.

"Well, for your sakes, I hope this plan does work," Remus said.

"What do you mean? They'll be thanking me when they get out," Sirius grinned.

"Actually, Padfoot, I'm fairly sure that both of them will kill you when you let them out. The only way of lessening the damage they do to you will be if Lily actually falls for James," Remus said.

"Which is exactly what I want," Sirius said.

* * *

><p><em>Sirius, you're such a liar, and you're so dead if this plan doesn't work,<em> James thought, putting his hands in his pockets and looking at the door as a trail of gold sparks travelled around the edge, merging the door into the wall. _Geez, I never thought he'd use our own spell against me._ Turning around, James wasn't at all surprised to find the girl he'd been chasing for the past six years sitting in an armchair with her nose buried in a book.

"Hey Evans," James said casually, sitting down in the armchair beside Lily's.

"Oh, great," Lily said, snapping the book shut and closing her eyes in annoyance.

"Padfoot's such a liar, he told me this _wasn't_ part of a hare-brained scheme to get us together. I can't say I'm surprised, but hey," James shrugged.

"I figured something was up when your mousy friend Pettigrew was asking _me_ for help with _Potions_," Lily said.

"You believed _Wormtail_?" James asked sceptically.

"Well, no, not really, but I kinda hoped he was being honest," Lily said.

"Why, you have a thing for him?"

"Grow up, Potter, of course not. I just kinda hoped that he'd learned to think for himself for once," Lily said, hitting James with the book in her hand.

"Ow! OK, I guess I deserved that."

"Finally! You're actually accepting the consequences of your actions for once! Or are you just Confunded? It wouldn't surprise me if you were..." Lily said thoughtfully.

"Don't worry, Evans, I'm just fine," James said, grinning.

"Well that's not very reassuring. Frankly, I'm a little surprised Black didn't think to use the Confundus Charm on me to get me to like you."

"Ah, well. Never mind."

"Yeah... We can just use the Confundus Charm on him to make him think he likes Severus when we get out of here," Lily said. James laughed at that, before a thoughtful expression filled his eyes.

"Hey, Lils, I've been wondering... Why were you ever friends with that guy, anyway? He's evil. It's obvious to practically the entire school that he's been wanting to become a Death Eater pretty much since he got here. Why'd it take you til the end of our OWLs to stop being friends with him?"

"I guess... I just hoped he'd change. He was the first person my own age who was nice to me after I found out about my Magic. I tried ignoring his attitude or asking him to stop picking on everyone, but he never did. He was still nice to me, though, except when he lost his temper. Eventually, I... just got sick of it," Lily said.

"Well, I can't blame you, the guy's not exactly _nice_."

"Neither are you, Potter, you end up in detention every other day for hexing students," Lily said.

"Hey, the spells I use on the first-years are harmless fun. Most of the time, they even laugh at the results! And the Slytherins deserve the hexes me and the guys use on them. After all, they use much worse hexes on pretty much every student who's not in Slytherin," James said.

"Yeah..."

"Wow!"

"What?"

"We actually agreed on something!"

"Give it a rest, Potter, your full-of-yourself attitude bores me, and you were just starting to make interesting conversation for once," Lily said, punching him in the arm.

"Sorry."

"That's better," Lily said, smiling. The two lapsed into thoughtful silence for a while, before James finally broke it, enormously curious.

"Say, Lils, why'd you always reject my requests for dates anyway?"

"As I said before, James, it's because you were being an arrogant prat. Let's just stop talking about that, OK? Let's use our time in this room looking up hexes to use on Black."

"Nah, I think we know enough already to pay him back. Like jinxing him so that doors slam in his face!"

"Or getting the owls to chase him every morning after they deliver the mail!"

"Or slipping a potion into his pumpkin juice!"

"Or charming his bed, and maybe the mirrors too, to squeal in pain every time he uses them!" Lily said, giggling excitedly.

"Oh, he'd hate that," James said, laughing. The two sat there for a moment, laughing at the mental images of Sirius suffering under all the revenge they had just mentioned. Eventually, though, they calmed down, smiling at each other.

"You know, this is actually fun," Lily smiled.

"Yeah. We don't have Padfoot around trying to get us together," James said, smiling back at Lily, who laughed.

"This peace is kinda nice, actually. I wish we could just be this friendly all the time," Lily said.

"Nah, that'd encourage Padfoot even more. Knowing him, he'd do something drastic."

"Like locking us in a room together?" Lily asked, grinning.

"Probably," James said, before laughing as he realised that Sirius had already done that.

"I wonder how long we'll be in here," Lily said. James looked at his watch, then said,

"Probably overnight. It's getting pretty late now, and if Filch catches us out at this time, we'll get a detention."

"Ah well, things could be worse, I guess," Lily said.

"Yeah, you could be stuck in here with Padfoot," James said.

"Oh, Merlin, I don't even want to think about _that_. What a nightmare!" Lily exclaimed, making them both laugh again. A few seconds later, she yawned, her eyes drooping sleepily.

"You look tired, Lils," James said.

"I guess I am," Lily said, pulling her knees up underneath her and snuggling into the armchair. A few seconds later, she shivered violently, and James leapt out of his chair. "I'm fine, James, really," Lily said sleepily.

"Oh no. I'm not going to let you freeze to death overnight. Move over," James said, shifting Lily aside and squeezing onto the armchair as well.

"What are you doing, James?" Lily asked quietly.

"Like I said, I'm not going to let you freeze to death, not when I finally managed to make friends with you," James said, taking off his cloak and throwing it over them both. Lily snuggled into James' shoulder and closed her eyes, smiling contentedly. A few minutes later, James thought that Lily had fallen asleep, and was close to sleep himself, so he took of his glasses and placed them on a nearby table.

"James?" Lily asked, her voice sleep-clogged and very quiet.

"Yeah?"

"I like you a lot better when you're not trying to get me to go on a date."

"Thanks, Lily."

"And you know what?"

"What?"

"I figured out pretty easily that Peter wanting my help was part of Sirius' plan."

"Why'd you go along with it, then?"

"I was kind of hoping that I'd finally get through to you," Lily whispered. James' ecstatic smile never left his face as he fell asleep with Lily's head on his shoulder.

* * *

><p>Early the next morning, Sirius unlocked the door of the Room and peered around it, a huge grin forming on his face when he saw the two prisoners tucked up together in an armchair.<p>

"This is too perfect!" Sirius whispered excitedly, taking out a camera and snapping a few of shots of the sleeping pair. Chortling, he crept out again, carefully closing the door behind him. _I guess I don't need to lock them in again, seeing as my Master Plan worked_, Sirius thought with a grin as he returned to the Gryffindor Common Room. When he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, he grinned at the sleeping figure.

"Hey, Lady! You mind waking up so I can get in?" Sirius asked. The Fat Lady stirred and blinked sleepily at Sirius.

"What are you doing out of bed so early, Black?"

"Just went to check on something. _Firewhisky_," Sirius said impatiently. The Fat Lady glared at him for waking her up, but swung forward to admit him. Sirius grinned and scrambled through the portrait hole into the Common Room, where he sprinted up the staircase to the boys' dorms.

"Oi, Moony! Wormtail! Get your lazy butts outta bed!" Sirius said, shaking Remus, who stirred and glared at him.

"Padfoot, do you know what the time is?" Remus asked sleepily.

"Of course I do, it's time for you to get out of bed and help me develop these pictures I took," Sirius said. Remus sighed reluctantly and climbed out of bed, retrieving his photograph-developing kit and carrying it down the stairs to the Common Room while Sirius roused Peter. The two of them joined Remus in the Common Room, Sirius handing his camera over eagerly.

"It'll take a while to develop, Sirius," Remus said, tapping the camera with his wand and then opening it.

"I'm going back to bed, then," Peter yawned, turning away.

"Oh no you don't, you're staying here with us, Wormy," Sirius said, seizing the collar of Peter's pyjamas and dragging him back. "These are some of the best pictures ever! How long do you think it'll take, Moony?"

"At least half an hour," Remus said, stretching out the film and counting the number of photographs to be developed, before tossing the roll of film and several pieces of thick white parchment into a shallow cauldron full of a black potion, which fizzed and turned into a rainbow of colours.

"This is gonna be so awesome!" Sirius said, watching the rainbow-coloured potion swirl.

* * *

><p>Lily slowly opened her eyes, smiling happily at the warmth of her bed. <em>My bed's usually freezing cold when I wake up<em>, Lily thought. Just then, a soft sigh made her freeze, wide-eyed, and she slowly raised her head to see the sleeping form of James Potter right beside her.

"Potter!" she shrieked, jumping out of the chair and glaring at the boy, who was roused by her shriek.

"Good morning, Lils, how'd you sleep? I hope you weren't too weirded out by the fact that I made you sleep on my shoulder. Wait, that came out all wrong," James said slowly, reaching for his glasses. Lily was about to yell at him when the previous night came flooding back.

"N-no, it was just a bit of a shock to wake up like that. Don't worry, I get what you mean," Lily said. James grinned at her, before looking around.

"Any sign of Padfoot yet?" he asked.

"No, nothing. But he could have come in while we were asleep," Lily said.

"That wouldn't surprise me," James said, rolling his eyes. Just then, he caught sight of the door. "I guess he has been here, and he was either nice enough or dumb enough to leave the door unlocked." Lily whirled around, her eyes widening. Then she turned back to James with a sly grin on her face.

"Shall we go get him?" she asked. James looked at her, his grin matching hers.

"Great idea, Lils," he said, jumping out of his seat and throwing his cloak back around his shoulders. He and Lily both took out their wands, before they burst through the door and ran down the corridor.

* * *

><p>"They're almost done," Remus said, plucking one of the pieces of parchment off the top of the cauldron and holding it up to the light, a large black square slowly developing into a picture. As the three boys watched, the black square slowly turned into a moving image of two sleeping students. Remus and Peter gasped as they realised who the students were.<p>

"Padfoot, you... you did it!" Peter gasped.

"You mean _we _did it," Sirius grinned. Just then the portrait hole opened and Lily scrambled inside, James close behind her.

"Start running, Black, you've got until three," Lily said, pointing her wand at Sirius.

"Why should I do that?"

"One."

"You guys _owe me_!"

"Two, and we don't _owe you_ anything. You'd better run before I say the next number and hex you."

"I suggest you run, Padfoot," Remus said.

"No," Sirius said stubbornly, folding his arms.

"Fine. Three! _Furnunculus_!" Lily shouted. Sirius yelled as painful boils sprung up all over him. He glared at Lily for a moment, before running up the staircase to the boys' dormitories.

"_Glisseo_!" James shouted, the staircase changing to a slide. A few moments later, Sirius tumbled down the slide and went sprawling to the floor.

"_Calvorio_!" Lily shouted. A second later, James, Lily, Remus and Peter burst out laughing as Sirius' long black locks fell out, leaving him completely bald.

"Nice one, Lils!" James said, watching as Sirius picked up some of the hair and stared at it. A second later, he yelled in horror and ran back towards the slide, waving his wand at it and changing it back to stairs. The other four stayed in the Common Room, laughing madly at the sight of Sirius, bald and covered in boils, running up the stairs with a look of utter horror on his face. Lily and James high-fived each other and grinned, while Remus shook his head defeatedly, not bothering to attempt to hide his amusement.

"C'mon, Wormtail, we'd better go help him out, or we'll never hear the end of it," he said.

"What help can I be?" Peter asked, confused. Remus just sighed and grabbed Peter's collar, dragging him upstairs after Sirius. James turned to Lily, his amusement suddenly replaced by nervousness.

"Say, Lils... I don't want to be pushy or anything, but... would you like to go on a date now? You don't have to right away," James added hastily, noticing the look on Lily's face, "I mean, I know we just got to being friends, but... just... just think about it, alright?" Lily looked at him for a moment, before smiling.

"Actually, I don't need to think about it, James," Lily said, throwing her arms around his neck. Before James knew what was happening, he was kissing Lily again, and this time he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Lily wanted to. After a moment that seemed to last a lifetime, they broke apart, Lily smiling shyly at James. "I'd love to go on a date with you, as long as you don't bring Black or your stupid, pompous attitude," Lily said.

"Deal," James smiled, before capturing Lily in another kiss.


End file.
